Five Types of Friends Every Christian Needs

You’ve heard the expression “quality over quantity,” right? Well, in today’s blog post, we’re going to talk about why this expression doesn’t quite apply when it comes to friendship. We’re going to discuss why friendship is important, why we need different types of friends, and how we can find these friends. Let’s get into the good stuff!

Have you found the perfect friend?

Do you have a singular, perfect person who’s there for you in every season, who understands you, who laughs and cries with you? A friend who is wise enough to share sound advice, but who’s also compassionate enough to just sit and listen? Someone who lives right down the road, who you have a lifetime of experiences with, who knows how to have fun and encourages you to get out of your comfort zone?

I’ll admit, I don’t have a friend that perfectly meets that description. When my husband and I moved to Missouri, we left most of our friends behind in Tennessee. For a while, I felt quite alone in this strange, new place. 

I remember thinking, “I just want to find one friend who lives near me and is around my age and shares the same interests as me. Once I find this friend, I won’t feel alone anymore.”

God didn’t design us to be alone.

There’s no person on earth who doesn’t need friendship. The Bible is full of verses about friendship, like Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity,” and Psalm 133:1, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”

Moreover, looking at the examples of key New Testament figures shows us how important friendship is. In the Book of Acts, we see the Apostle Paul often traveled with companions on his missionary journeys. And although Jesus has thousands of disciples, there were 12 special friends whom Jesus was especially close to.

When it comes to friendship, there’s a fine line between quality and quantity

Isn’t that interesting, that not even Jesus had one perfect friend who met every need. He kept company with twelve men.

As an introvert, it sounds a little overwhelming to hang out with twelve friends. And if you’re introverted, too, don’t worry! I’m not saying you need to run out and find twelve friends to be just like Jesus. But we can take a lesson from Jesus’ example and recognize that maybe we’re not looking for a singular friend who perfectly fits every box we desire for friendship.

I thought I felt lonely when we moved because I hadn’t found my perfect friend. But actually, I felt lonely because my tunnel vision kept me from seeing that I already had everything I was looking in friendships.

God had already given me everything I wanted in friendship through different friends.

It hit me on a sunny, spring day. An older lady from church invited me out to lunch. As I was driving home, I realized I didn’t need to find a singular friend who checked all the boxes I had envisioned. In fact, I realized that God already checked all these boxes through multiple different people.

There is beauty in having different types of friends because each one shares different perspectives and skillsets that can strengthen our Christian walk. Just like each of Jesus’ 12 friends went on to lead different lives with different strengths, so our various friends can add value to our lives through their unique skills and strengths.

Here are the five types of friends every Christian needs

I have come to especially appreciate these five types of people that God has brought into my life and I want to share those types with you today. If you’re feeling lonely and you’re looking to find new friends, or if you desire to deepen current friendships, keep these five types in mind, and keep reading to figure out which type of friend you can be to others…

Type #1: The Heavenly Friend

Let’s establish some thing from the get-go. We need the heavenly friend like no other. Our heavenly friend is Jesus. He tells us in John 15:14, “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” Jesus isn’t a tyrant, he wants to be our friend. When we are obedient to him, we get to partake in a special intimacy with our Savior.

If we do not first fill up on the friendship of Jesus, we will not be able to fill the emotional void with friends on earth. The reality is, it is impossible to completely abolish loneliness here on earth. Jesus knows this too, and that’s why his friendship will fill us up more than anything earthly bond can.

One of Jesus’ most lonely moments was in the garden of Gethsemane, right before his betrayal. His friends let him down during a difficult moment, but his Father strengthened him with an angel from heaven (see Luke 22:43).

Today, the Father doesn’t send his angels to strengthen us, because we have someone better—Jesus himself, our Savior who understands what it’s like to be human and who holds divine power.

Take a look at Hebrews 4:15:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”

Jesus understands the weaknesses of this earth, including loneliness, and that makes him the best friend we could ever wish for.

Type #2: The Steadfast Friend

Let’s move into the types of friends here with us on earth, starting with the steadfast friend. I am so thankful for my steadfast friend. I met her in college and we’ve stayed connected all these years. I know at any time I can send her a text, saying, “when can I call,” and she will be there. Despite living in different states, we feel a closeness to each other because of the values and memories we share.

The steadfast friend isn’t defined as someone who lives in the same location as you. She might not necessarily be someone you talk to daily. Rather, she’s steadfast because regardless of these things, she will be there for you. The two of you share core values and those shared values keep you close regardless of time or distance. And the sweet memories you share make it easy to pick back up right where you left off whenever you reconnect.

Type #3: The Compassionate Friend

The compassionate friend is there for you when you need a listening ear. She isn’t focused on trying to instantly find a solution to every problem or tell you exactly what she would do if she was in your shoes. She simply opens the door to allow you to get your thoughts off your chest.

Having a compassionate friend can be valuable in all sorts of situations. If you need to vent, go to your compassionate friend. If you need to talk ideas through out loud, go to your compassionate friend. If you need to share your worries and anxieties with someone without feeling judged or shamed, go to your compassionate friend! She’s there to uplift you when you think to yourself, “I just need a friend right now.”

Type #4: The Fun Friend

Do you ever feel like you just need a break? And you know you can’t just run away from your responsibilities and pretend real life doesn’t exist but wow you’d give anything for a break. That’s where the fun friend comes in. 

It’s easy for life to get mundane. We work. We care for our families. We put the laundry in and make the dinners. We pay the bills. We go to bed, wake up, and repeat. And sometimes when we’re walking through hardships, even the mundane feels hard to manage. 

The fun friend reminds you every once in a while, “Sis, you gotta get out.” She puts the spice back in life that keeps the mundane from becoming overwhelming. She presents opportunities to recharge your batteries. 

Reconnecting with the fun friend is a breath of fresh air because she instantly brightens your day as soon as you reconnect with her. It’s not that everything she does is over the top and extravagant, she just brings a bright, bubbly perspective into the room. 

Type #5: The Seasoned Friend

It’s true that God supplies all our needs, and one of the ways God supplies our needs is by giving us our seasoned friends. The seasoned friend is a very, very special person. Sometimes she’s seasoned because she is literally older, but oftentimes what makes her special is she’s seasoned through experiences.

We share common interests or values with this type of friend and we’re following similar paths. But the seasoned friend is a step or two ahead of us down the path. We can ask her questions, receive her wisdom, and lean on her godly advice.

Most of all, the seasoned friend is here to remind you that you are normal. You are normal when you face challenges. You are normal when you’re not sure what to do next. You are normal when you feel discouraged or down. And you’re normal when you hit bumps or snags on your path. Your seasoned friend has been there before, and she’s still here. She proves that if she can keep moving forward, you can too.

So how do you find these types of friends?

There are a few things to think about when it comes to finding these friends.

First, to find friends, we’ve got to get out and be friendly! We can’t find our five types of friends by hiding in our homes and being afraid of the world.

Second, pray and ask God to connect you with the right friends. Ask Him to bring you the right people and for you to be the right person for others.

And third, look at the relationships you already have—can they be deepened? Can you invest more time to increase intimacy? Maybe you’ll have a moment like mine on the way home from my lunch, and you realize you’ve been so distracted by wishing for more that you’ve missed out on what you have.

Don’t forget—in order to have a friend, you need to be a friend.

Can you see yourself in any of these types of friends? Keep in mind, you don’t have to be all these types. But I encourage you to sit and think about what type of friend you can be to others. How can you shine the light of Jesus and fill in the gaps for someone here on earth?

I hope today’s blog post is encouraging to you. If you need a friend, hi, I’m Natalie, and I’d love to be your friend! Click here to get little letters sent to your email inbox because I love to keep up with my friends! And don’t forget to check out my other blog posts where we talk all about faith, family, and the entrepreneurial lifestyle.